"Warren, you play Godzilla. Mark, you be Mothra"

As as relative newbie to the blogosphere (which until last week I thought was the name of a hip Yaletown nightclub), I feel like a bit of an outsider in the blogging community. But just a bit -- more like a guy wearing a tux at Church's Chicken than, say, Vic Toews wandering into a Pride parade.

So, while I read other blogs and leave the occasional pointless comment, I haven't done a lot of the 'who is slagging whom' and 'this is what whatshisface is saying about it' posting on my blog

I'll make an exception for the Kinsella v. Bourrie affair. Long and venomous story short: not-so-mild-mannered columnist and ex-politico, Warren Kinsella, has sued fossil-collector and outspoken political blogger, Mark Bourrie, for comments made on Bourrie's blog, OttawaWatch. Details* can be found here, here and here . Related video here.

[*Warning: some of these sites may contain the allegedly libelous and objectionable material. Or, they may contain velour, which, while not libelous, is also objectionable material. If you must go to any of these sites, do so with your eyes closed. But don't close your eyes too soon or you might accidentally click on something really embarrassing.]

Quite the brouhaha -- emphasis on the brou and not nearly enough on the haha. Now, as the blogger some (me, just now) have called the "Sultan of Smartass", I've tried to lighten the mood. Really I have. I've offered to top up Bourrie's legal defense fund with cheesey goodness. Suggested a solution powered by Photoshop*. Unlikely as it might sound, I've even played dumb.

[*Long and rascally story short: In a Kinsella-as-political-hasbeen post, Bourrie posted a PR pic of Warren's brood with the photoshopped heads of Buckwheat et al on the bodies of the Kinsellakins, which pissed off Kinsellapapa to no end. Is the self-styled Prince of Political Darkness thin- skinned? Well, for comparison, I'm as fragile as they come (really -- my friends call me "Pussvril"), yet I didn't get my boxers in a ball when some gutless un-named blogger (no doubt either Breebop or Miss Cellania, the blogosphere's undisputed Princesses of Darkness) got their hands on a honeymoon photo of me and my beloved wife and did this.]

Mood? Not lightened. Last I heard, the parties are still on a courthouse collision course, leading some anonymous chap (who smells just like me, go figure) to ponder the cinematic possibilities.

All very dramatic. But I say it really has to end. I mean, the blogging world has much more important things to talk about, what with Britney's parenting/driving skills in question, to say nothing of the buzz that Justin is a two-timing bastard.

Problem is, neither guy is likely to blink. I'm no lawyer (wait, maybe I am -- I do wear a robe and say "notwithstanding" a lot). Either way, I know enough law to see that Kinsella's case is weaker than, well, me (and as any of my competitors in last year's junior girls' arm-wrestling tryouts know, that's pretty weak.) Marky knows this (about Kinsella's legal footing, not my wrist) and, with the help of a growing posse of bloggers providing moral support and a warchest, he appears determined to call Kinsy's bluff. Warren, having barked himself into a corner, cannot back down without losing face. And Warren is very attached to his face.

So we need to solve this creatively -- but with no lawsuit, no settlement, no apology. It won't be easy. It'll take unorthodox thinking. Probably some beer. A laser-pointer may be involved.

So, hang tight and stay tuned, war-weary bystanders. The Sultan is on the case.

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