Lost in translation, part deux: less Scarlet Johanson, more Jack Layton

According to an e-mail from "T", a gal who is obviously as sensitive as she is gifted in her ability to appreciate way wicked humour, she actually "cried a bit" reading my first Lost in Translation post. Le shucks.

Alors, with the second installment of the federal leaders en français now a wrap, let's roll out some more mis-translations and see if we can't make T, how you say... pee a bit?

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Civilized - In an attempt to present his party as more moderate than the Harper Conservatives, Paul Martin setting clear limits on how far he'd go in punishing criminals:

«Le Parlement ne devrait pas avoir le droit d'enlever des droits individuels aux Canadiens.»
"Parliament should not have the right to remove the fingers of individual Canadians."

Voluptuous - Conservative leader Stephen Harper admitting that, as PM, he'd surround himself with buxom French-Canadian women:

«J'ai besoin de vrais Québécois au sein d'une table de cabinet»
"I need some real Québécois breast at the cabinet table."

Resourceful - Jack Layton, linking the environmental issue of waterfowl overpopulation in urban centres with the plight of low income seniors, calling on the government to:

«... fournir les soins aux personnes âgées»
"...cook swans for the elderly"

At last - Paul Martin admitting for the first time that his office was directly involved in directing dirty sponsorship money into Liberal coffers:

« Nous avons placé le pays avant le parti »
"We placed the payments in front of the party"

Cocky - Layton, questioning the political courage of Quebec's provincial politicians and promising that the NDP will promote national unity by pressuring:

«... l’Assemblée nationale puisse, en fait, ratifier la Constitution. »
"...the National Assembly pussies, in fact, to ratify the Constitution."

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And if that didn't quite make you rire à pisser, T, what can I say? Try another bottle of Trois Pistoles.