8 reasons, as in more than seven reasons but not quite nine... the french would say 'huit raisons'...

I just re-read my last post. Well, re-skimmed. Wow, I do go on, don't I? Ironic that I write so much, considering that when it comes to reading anything longer than the Canadian Tire flyer, I tend to bog down like a undercharged Philishave in pubic hair (er, I guess) .

If I tried - if I really, really tried - I wonder if I could succinctly state...

EIGHT REASONS WHY MY POSTS AREN'T SHORTER

8. Four months ago I got an anonymous note that said "type or die," and it's got me really freaked out.

7. I didn't blog enough as a toddler.

6. They are short. You need to ease up on the weed.

5. Still trying to get my army of blogging monkeys to switch to decaf.

4. Special secret item (highlight with cursor to read): To me, words equal love.

3. "Brevity" isn't in my dictionary. Oh, is that how you spell it? Shit. There it is. Nevermind.

2. In a sinister plot to undermine the productivity of North American workers, the Chinese Government pays me, by the word, to waste your time. Also, in a sinister plot to undermine the productivity of North American workers, the Chinese Government pays me, by the word, to waste your time.

And the number one reason my posts aren't shorter...

1. You know what they say about guys with long posts.

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