Monday, November 26, 2007

And an analgesic for the puppy

[Okay, let's get this out of the way, shall we? Yeah, I've been away for a while. So what? I've been busy trying on sweaters. And, so help me Earthgodmother, if I get so much as one taunt, one snide remark, anything remotely resembling "Welcome back, Once-a-Year Boy!" -- well, I just might cry. 'Nuff said. Onto your (ir)regularly scheduled post...]

I'm all about analogies. Love 'em. In the political realm, a good analogy can really cut through political doublespeak and put the essence of a policy into perspective. That, and there's "anal" in the word, which sounds sort of naughty.

Speaking of which, last week saw some dirty machinations on the part of the Harper Government at the Commonwealth leaders' summit in Kampala. You know the story: Steve-o the torpedo single-handedly deep-sixed a deal on firm GHG reduction targets, refusing to sign unless India and other developing countries were also forced to cut emissions. No point in countries such as Canada committing to reductions, Harper's stated rationale goes, unless all the major emitters do. Talk about ruining a tea party.

So here's the analogy that comes to mind...

A gang of punks are kicking the doo-doo out of a puppy (The puppy's name doesn't matter, but let's call him "The Capacity of the Earth to Sustain Life as We Know it". 'Fluffy' for short.) In a pang of conscience, one of the punks proposes that they all stop kicking the puppy. Most agree. (After all, it's a nice puppy, and WWE Raw is almost on.)

Harper's like the dude who says: "Well, we could stop kicking the puppy, and I'm certainly willing to... but only if the kid with the biggest boots stops first."

Only in Canada, you say? Pity.



At November 27, 2007 4:26 a.m., Blogger Alison said...

My Gawd. It lives.

Suddenly the punks remember that this is a magical puppy on whom their entire existence depends and if the puppy dies, so do they.

Oh noes! they cry and immediately start beating the crap out of each other for beating the crap out of the puppy. After a while they get tired of this and go back to beating up the puppy again.

P.S. Nice sweater.

At November 27, 2007 7:56 a.m., Blogger Havril said...

Thanks, Alison. Speaking of which, I'm going to knit Steveo a "Stop beating the puppy" sweater. Can anybody teach me how to knit? Maybe Alexa Mcdonough?

At November 27, 2007 9:32 a.m., Anonymous Rosie said...

Exciting! I was thinking of calling my cat "the Capacity of the Earth to Sustain Life as We Know it". You stole my idea.

At November 27, 2007 2:41 p.m., Anonymous scout said...

those bully boy kind of guys. maybe he'll get a 'fuck off' from one of them one day and cry on boreen's shoulder.

good analogy but you didn't tell us what the punks were wearing and if they had mp3s.

in keeping with harperisma,

At November 28, 2007 10:09 a.m., Anonymous Deanna said...

November 26 must be a special day. You hit it in 2006 AND 2007. :P

At November 28, 2007 10:16 a.m., Blogger Havril said...

Deanna: That was perilously close to the kind of snide remark we all agreed we wouldn't throw around. I feel a tear welling up.

As for the November 26 connection, I attribute it to that being the birthday of the late Ernie Coombs , better known as Mr. Dressup. That anniversary sort of makes me want to climb out of the Tickle Trunk and present myself to the world. Dressed in drag. But you couldn't know that from my post, as I'm pretty sure I had the webcam turned off. Also, it was snowing in the Lower Mainland on that day in both 2006 and 2007. Snow makes Havril frisky.

At November 28, 2007 7:15 p.m., Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Havril! I thought you were dead!

While you were gone, I did a post on Canada.

At November 28, 2007 7:49 p.m., Blogger Saskboy said...

I have a post ready for the Internet, in the eventuality that I die.


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