Monday, July 17, 2006

Deja doo-doo

As in crap you've seen before. As in, me, instead of a real post, giving you utter shite like...

Seven reasons why I haven't posted in a while

7. Studies show the average worker spends twelve days per year commuting. To get them out of the way, this year I'm doing all of mine in one shot.

6. I had been working on this 10,000-plus word post entitled "Oprah is Gay". Until today. Guess it's back to work on "Confessions of a Billionaire Transsexual: the Wilma Gates Story".

5. That space shuttle wasn't going to land itself, you know.

4. Blogging hardly seems a priorty right now, what with Hearst on the warpath after spending a night in jail next to the corpse of the Cornishman whose murder Utter implied Hearst ordered, Trixie pondering a return whoring at the Gem, Dan still reeling from having watched the life drain out Turner's eyes (well, the one eye Dan didn't tear from its socket), and Swearengen contemplating sending Dan to Cheyenne to see to the hiring of some guns.

3. I had this bear in my house for like three weeks. Swear to god.

2. The "all over" sunburn at I got at Wreck Beach a couple of weeks back has made typing quite painful. You see, I don't use my fingers.

And the number one reason why I haven't posted in a while....

1. Ottawa's plan to evacuate Canadian citizens from Lebanon: me, in a dinghy.
*

8 Comments:

At July 18, 2006 6:31 AM, Blogger Scout said...

#2......EWWWWWWWWW! reading your posts will never, ever be the same again.

glad to see ya back on the blog. now if we can all do one of those mass meditation things (what are they called again?) for cheezwhiz's computer and bring her back into the bloglight zone.

 
At July 18, 2006 9:06 PM, Blogger Alison said...

"You see, I don't use my fingers."

Gosh, Havril, now I have this picture in my head of you with a tiny toilet plunger taped to your forehead, furiously pecking away, your little head pumping up and down...

 
At July 21, 2006 9:01 AM, Blogger Scout said...

alison, should we stage a fundraiser for havril to get him a set of fingers? i hear he lost his in an industrial accident.

 
At July 21, 2006 12:54 PM, Blogger Havril said...

Scout. Mass medidation -- like we all do yoga at the same time? Okay, on 3, let's all do downward dog.

Alison. That's exactly what it is, except I don't use tape. I just get my wife to lick my forehead then I suction it on. I look something like this.

Scout (the sequel). Oh, I have fingers. I just can't use them for much. See, somebody had me put them in one of those Chinese finger puzzle things when I was 11. Still working on how to get out.

 
At July 23, 2006 8:05 AM, Blogger Scout said...

ah yes, the ancient chinese finger puzzle trick, invented by master ah foo u. does that mean you don't adhere to confucious? 'man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger'.

why is it i go back to grade seven around you (by far my most enjoyable year in school?)

 
At August 01, 2006 5:11 PM, Blogger cheezwhiz said...

Havril, Scout begged me to meet her over here and take over your comments section... so....let's party...someone else bring the celery

 
At August 03, 2006 8:24 PM, Blogger Havril said...

Party? Sounds like fun. Will there be strippers? I might come back for that.

 
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