Sunday, January 22, 2006

Yes, yes, it's definitely still the Day Before...

Alternate title: For A Guy Who Is Supposed to Be Agonizing Over His Vote, You Sure Are Jokey, Dare I say - Prolific?

Picking up from where we left off last time (not to be confused with the time before that, which was also good, but in an earlier, deja vu kind of way)... I was all like: "I don't want to vote Liberal." And you were all like: "Is that a RonCo Food Dehydrator? Cool." Then we were both ate turkey jerky for, like, a really long time. And then...

Thought 3: Some options

So, not Conservative. And not Liberal if I can help it. Which leaves me with the NDP or the Green Party.

As for the NDP, I like many of their policies. The whole "Help for people" theme is appealing, since I happen to be people, and I could always use a little help. And Honeycombs. (I've moved on from the Cheerios. A guy has to grow up sometime.) Not that they have a specific "Honeycombs for People" policy, but they do go on about spending tax dollars on things that matter, and what matters more than a really good breakfast cereal -- particularly, one with a big big taste and a big big bite?

And, speaking as somebody who thinks that society is way too sexually repressed, I feel that voting for a party whose leader so unapologetically sports a porn mustache sends a sex-positive message. The other parties, not so much.

And the Greens? I'd like to vote for them. I really would. I know I haven't mentioned this before, but rest assured, I'm real big on windmills and clean water and cars powered by bio-fuel. (I'm a little unclear on how the chicken poo gets through the intake valve, but I'm sure Jim Harris is on top of it.) And I'm all about taxing the shit out of the big oil companies. (Well, so long as it doesn't affect the price of gas. Hey, I didn't say I would use bio-fuel. Have you ever smelled chicken poo? Exactly.)

Lofty ideas, to be sure. But they haven't got a chance of winning my riding, or anywhere else. And as my grandmother always said: you might have the best waltz of any man at the ball, but nobody will ever know this if you tragically lose both your legs in an industrial buffer accident on the way to dance floor. She didn't like dancing. Or janitors.

I'm going to need some help with this one.


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